Checking You Understand

Polite questions, indirect language, and the art of asking again

Quick Chat

Speak
Think of a time someone was explaining something and you didn't understand. What did you do? Did you ask, or did you just nod?

Most people nod and hope they'll understand later. That almost never works. The good news: there are polite, natural ways to check understanding without sounding rude or stupid.

Speak
What's the difference between these two? "What?" vs "Sorry, could you say that again?" — Which one would you use at work? Why?

Today: the grammar behind polite requests and indirect questions — so you can always check understanding without losing face.

Making Questions Polite

Direct questions can sound blunt. In English, we soften them with specific structures:

1. Could you...? / Would you mind...?

"Could you repeat that?" / "Could you explain what you mean?"

"Would you mind saying that again?" / "Would you mind slowing down a bit?"

"Could you" + base verb. "Would you mind" + -ing form. Both are polite — "would you mind" is slightly softer.

2. Indirect Questions

Direct: "What does that mean?" → Indirect: "Could you tell me what that means?"

Direct: "What did you say?" → Indirect: "I didn't quite catch what you said."

Key rule: after "could you tell me" / "do you know" / "I'm not sure" — use STATEMENT word order (subject + verb), NOT question word order.

Why does word order change in indirect questions?

Compare: "What does this mean?" (direct — question word order: does + subject)

"Could you tell me what this means?" (indirect — statement order: subject + verb)

The "could you tell me" part IS already the question. The second part is just information, so it follows normal sentence order.

3. Checking with "So..."

"So you're saying that...?" / "So what you mean is...?" / "So basically...?"

This repeats back what you understood. The other person can then confirm or correct you. It shows you're listening.

4. Softening with "just" and "quite"

"I just want to check..." / "I didn't quite understand..." / "I'm not entirely sure..."

"Just", "quite", and "entirely" make your confusion sound smaller. They're face-saving words.

Try it
Make these polite: (1) "What does 'deadline' mean?" (2) "Say that again." (3) "I don't understand." — Use the patterns above.

Word Power

Tap to reveal. These words and phrases are your clarification toolkit.

Polite Request Verbs

repeat
say again — "Could you repeat that, please?"
explain
make clear — "Could you explain what you mean by that?"
clarify
make more precise — "Could you clarify the last point?"
rephrase
say differently — "Could you rephrase that for me?"
elaborate
say more — "Could you elaborate on that a bit?"

Softening Words

just
makes it smaller — "I just want to check something"
quite
not completely — "I didn't quite follow that"
entirely
100% — "I'm not entirely sure what you mean"
a bit
a little — "Could you slow down a bit?"

Confusion Phrases

I didn't catch that
I didn't hear/understand — more natural than "I don't understand"
I lost you at...
I stopped understanding when you said... — "I lost you at the second part"
I'm not following
I can't follow your logic — polite way to say "this makes no sense"
You've lost me
I'm completely confused now — informal but friendly
What do you mean by...?
ask about a specific word — "What do you mean by 'stakeholder'?"
Challenge
Close all cards. From memory: give one polite request verb, one softening word, and one confusion phrase. Now put them together into a natural sentence.

The Clarification Challenge

In each round, you hear something confusing. You have 90 seconds to respond using at least 3 different clarification strategies.

1:30
Round 1 — The Fast Talker
Your colleague explains a new project plan very quickly. You caught "deadline" and "budget" but missed everything in between.

Ask them to slow down, repeat specific parts, and check your understanding with "So you're saying..."

Must use: "Could you..." + "I didn't quite catch..." + "So you're saying..."

Round 2 — The Jargon User
Someone says: "We need to leverage our synergies to optimise the pipeline and align the stakeholders before the Q3 deliverables."

You don't understand half of those words. Ask about specific words, request simpler language, and check meaning.

Must use: "What do you mean by...?" + "Would you mind rephrasing...?" + "So basically...?"

Round 3 — The Confusing Directions
Someone gives you directions: "Go past the roundabout, take the second — no wait, the third — exit, then it's on your left. Or maybe your right."

They're confusing themselves. Ask them to start again, confirm each step, and check the whole route.

Must use: "I lost you at..." + "Could you start again?" + a "So..." summary

Round 4 — The Abstract Explanation
A friend says: "It's not really about the money, it's more about the principle of the thing, you know? It's like when someone doesn't respect your boundaries."

You kind of understand but want to be sure. Check understanding, ask for a concrete example, and paraphrase back.

Must use: "Could you give me an example?" + "I'm not entirely sure..." + "So what you mean is...?"

Recall Zone

From CT-23: Building an Argument
Name four categories of connecting phrases for building a structured answer.

Adding (what's more, in addition) → Contrasting (however, on the other hand) → Examples (for instance, take...for example) → Concluding (all things considered, so overall)

When you're clarifying, you can use these same connectors to organise your paraphrase: "So you're saying X, and what's more, Y?"

From CT-22: What's Going to Happen?
How do you express uncertainty? Give three phrases from different points on the certainty scale.

"It will definitely..." (100%) / "It might..." (50%) / "I doubt..." (10%)

Hedging language is useful when clarifying: "So you're saying it might happen?" sounds much better than "So it will happen?"

From CT-21: Big Questions
What phrase do you use to show you've been thinking about something for a long time?

"I've always thought..." / "I've often wondered..." (present perfect for showing depth)

This works when clarifying your own position: "I've always understood it as X — is that what you mean?"

What did you learn?

Final challenge
Your teacher explains something about English grammar that you don't understand at all. Respond naturally — use at least 4 different clarification strategies from today's lesson. Don't just say "I don't understand."

Which clarification phrases feel most natural for you? Which ones will you try using this week?

← CT-23