Someone telling a story about something that already finished:

• "So I'm standing at the bus stop, and this woman just walks up and starts chatting to a dog that isn't even hers."
• "He looks at me, dead serious, and goes, 'Is that mine?'"
• "Next thing, the whole café is staring at us."

Every one of these already happened. What's odd about the verbs, and what effect does it have on you as the listener? Say your idea before you check.

1. Yesterday I was queuing for coffee when my old teacher tapped me on the shoulder.

Tell it live: "So I for coffee, and my old teacher taps me on the shoulder."

2. Last week, my neighbour knocked on my door at midnight and asked if I'd seen his cat.

Tell it live: "So my neighbour on my door at midnight and asks if I've seen his cat."

Three plans, told from a point in the past:

• "I was going to ring you last night, but I completely lost track of time."
• "She was going to hand in her notice — then they offered her a rise."
• "He had no idea at the time, but he was to spend the next thirty years in that same house."

What's different about the last one compared with the first two? Have a think before you check.

3. At six o'clock, Maria's plan was clear: call the landlord about the leak. She never got round to it.

"Maria the landlord, but she never got round to it."

4. In 1990, nobody in the small seaside town guessed that the shy boy behind the counter would end up running the biggest business in town.

Looking back now: "That shy boy behind the counter the most successful business in town."

Three habits, told with real feeling:

• "He's always losing his phone — three times this month already."
• "She's forever rearranging the furniture; I never know where anything is."
• "They're constantly texting each other during dinner — it drives me mad."

Compare that with the flat statement "He loses his phone." What has changed, and what feeling does the change add? Say it before you check.

1. My brother leaves the fridge open. It happens constantly and it genuinely annoys me.

Complain about it properly: "My brother the fridge open!"

2. My grandparents bring us homemade jam every time they visit. It's become a lovely tradition.

Describe it warmly: "My grandparents us homemade jam whenever they come."

• "She will leave the window open, whatever I say about the cold."
• "My dad will tell the same joke at every single family dinner."
• "Ask him anything about football and he'll talk for an hour."

These aren't predictions about the future. What are they describing instead?

3. No matter how many times I remind her, my flatmate forgets to lock the door. It's just what she does.

Complain about it: "My flatmate to lock the door, whatever I say."

4. Every single Sunday, without fail, my uncle rings just to talk about the weather. Honestly, it's rather sweet.

Describe him fondly: "My uncle every Sunday, just to chat about the weather."

5. Which one sounds most irritated, rather than neutral?

Three pieces of news, told the way natives actually tell them:

• "There's been an accident on the ring road — a lorry hit the central barrier around seven."
• "I've had some news, actually — Priya's got the job. She starts in September."
• "Something's gone wrong with the boiler; it started making a strange noise this morning."

Notice the two different tenses working together in each one. What job does each tense do? Have a think before you check.

1. You just found out your street's bakery has closed down for good. It happened yesterday afternoon; you only heard this morning.

Break the news: "The bakery down!"

2. Now add the specific detail: it actually shut its doors at around three o'clock yesterday afternoon.

"It yesterday afternoon, apparently."

3. Your friend's car was broken into last night, and you're telling someone about it this morning. Which version breaks the news properly?

Think of someone you know well who has a habit you feel strongly about — good or bad — and something that recently happened involving them.

Tell the whole thing out loud for one minute. Try to include:

• A piece of news about them, headline first with the perfect, then the detail.
• A habit of theirs, described with "always/forever + -ing" or "will."
• If it fits, switch into the present tense for the most vivid moment of the story.

Write a short message (3–5 sentences) to a friend covering the same situation. Include at least: a piece of news opened with the present perfect, a habit described with "always/forever + -ing" or "will," and a plan from the past with "was/were going to" or "was/were to." For extra vividness, feel free to slip into the historic present too — the checker below is listening for the three forms above.

1. "So I'm standing there and he walk straight past me like I don't exist."

2. "She's always leaves her umbrella on the bus."

3. "He was going to called about the delay, but his phone died."

4. "There's been an accident — a lorry has hit the central reservation this morning."

5. Which sentence sounds like a live, exciting story rather than a calm report?

6. Which sentence sounds most irritated about a habit, rather than neutral?

7. Which version properly breaks the news that Jenny got a new job, which she heard about yesterday?

1. The form you knew before today — complete it: "I Japan twice — once in 2019 and once last year."

2. Say it out loud: what's the difference in feeling between "I lived in Paris for a year" and "I've lived in Paris for a year"?

3. Retell it live: yesterday, halfway through the meeting, the fire alarm went off and everyone just froze.

"So we're all sitting there in the meeting, and suddenly the alarm off."

4. Every time you cook, your housemate wanders in and starts giving unwanted advice. It happens constantly and it bothers you.

Complain about it: "My housemate me unwanted advice every time I cook!"

5. Before the storm hit, the wedding was scheduled to happen outdoors at four o'clock. It never did.

"The wedding outdoors, but the storm ruined everything."

Which of today's five bent tenses do you think you'll actually reach for this week — the live storytelling present, the always/forever habit, "will" for someone's character, the perfect-then-past news pattern, or the future-in-the-past for a plan that changed? Say why.