The right jumper, the wrong size, and a jacket from last week that just isn't you. Time to sort it all out — charmingly.
There's a wedding in three weeks and, as of this morning, absolutely nothing in your wardrobe rises to the occasion. So here you are, on a busy Saturday, in the kind of shop where the assistant appears at your elbow the second you touch anything.
You've spotted a jacket you actually like — but the only one on the rail looks a size too small, and you'd want to try it on before you commit to anything. And there's a second job in your bag: a jumper you bought here last week that, in the cold light of day, simply isn't you. You'd like to swap it, ideally without a scene.
Behind the till, and now beside you, and now holding three hangers you didn't ask for: an assistant who is friendly, helpful, and just a touch too keen to make a sale.
Fussy about fit, allergic to hard-sell, quietly determined to leave with the right thing — and to hand back the wrong one without any awkwardness.
Warm, attentive, working on commission. Genuinely wants to help — but would also love to sell you two more things while you're here.
Here's your toolkit. You don't need to memorise it. Read each phrase, say it out loud once, and pick the ones that sound like you. You'll have it open while you practise.
Draw a card and say what you'd say, out loud, in one or two sentences. Use your own words or the toolkit. Then peek at one possible answer.
Done a few rounds? Try again with the toolkit covered. When it flows, you're ready to hear them in a real conversation.
Read it out loud, one role each, then swap. Spot as many phrases from your toolkit as you can. Listen for the way the shopper stays warm while quietly keeping the assistant at arm's length.
1. Twice the assistant tries to sell the shopper more than they came for. What are the two attempts — and how does the shopper turn each one down without a hint of rudeness?
2. Why did the shopper reject the first jacket, and what exactly was wrong with the fit? Which single word did they use to describe the problem?
3. The shopper wanted to hand back the jumper. What did they NOT ask for — and what did they ask for instead? Why might that be the smoother move?
No script this time. You'll have a real conversation with a real person. They have their own mind, and you have a goal.
Say each step once, out loud, in your own words. No writing, no peeking at the phrases.
Pick your situation. Your partner plays the other person.
🏆 You win when you leave with what you wanted and the assistant is glad to see you again.
Start the scene first. Partway through, draw a card. Whatever it says, it just happened.
Now you're on the other side. Your partner takes your old part.
Draw another twist whenever you like.
Tick what you actually did, in either seat.
Run it one more time. Draw a twist before you start, and try to reach a good result faster than before.
Five hundred years ago, under the Tudors, you couldn't just buy whatever caught your eye. Laws decided who was allowed to wear what: purple silk and certain furs were reserved for royalty, deep reds and fine velvets for the nobility, and everyone else made do with wool and plain cloth. Your outfit wasn't a choice — it was a label announcing exactly where you stood.
Henry VIII padded his shoulders to fill a doorway; the Elizabethans starched their ruffs into great white cartwheels. What you wore could win you favour at court — or, if you dressed above your station, land you in real trouble.
Today, you can try the jacket on, decide it isn't you, and hand it straight back. A Tudor couldn't return their whole identity to the shop — the law had sewn it on for life.