THINK INSIDE THE BOX · TOOL 13 · B2 · 50 min

Two Questions for Anyone Living Abroad

Do I keep my own culture? Do I join the new one? A Canadian psychologist showed that the answers aren't opposites — and the grid explains a lot of modern arguments.

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Today: you'll learn the grid that describes life between two cultures, place six real situations on it, and practise relative clauses: who, which, that, where, whose.
Before we start — talk these through:
  • What does “fitting in” mean where you live? Is it expected?
  • If you moved abroad, what would you keep from home, whatever happened?
  • Which foreign habits or foods have become normal in your country?

The vocabulary of this story

Ten items. Say your answer out loud before you reveal it.

A · What do they mean here? Work it out from the context

Read the sentence, guess the meaning of the word in bold, then reveal.

Many families keep their heritage alive through food, music and language at home.
heritage — the traditions and culture passed down from earlier generations.
After a year abroad, he felt torn between the country he grew up in and the country he lived in.
torn — unable to choose between two things you care about.
The council ran language classes to help new arrivals settle in.
settle in — to become comfortable in a new place, home or job.
Some newcomers face prejudice — people judge them before they know anything about them.
prejudice — an unfair opinion about someone formed before you know them.

B · Which word matches the meaning?

The three words are: mainstream · homesick · adapt. Read each meaning, say the word, then reveal.

(adjective) Missing your home and your country.
homesick — “She was terribly homesick in her first winter.”
(verb) To change your behaviour to suit a new situation.
adapt — “Children adapt faster than their parents.”
(adjective/noun) The main part of a society, accepted by most people.
mainstream — “Their music moved from small clubs into the mainstream.”

C · Which word completes all three phrases?

One missing word fits every phrase in the group. Say it, then reveal.

___ your traditions  ·  ___ in touch  ·  ___ the language alive at home
keep — to continue having or doing something.
a sense of ___  ·  national ___  ·  a question of ___
identity — who you feel you are, and which groups you belong to.
___ into a community  ·  feel ___ at work  ·  ___ in with the others
fit — to be accepted as part of a group. (fit in)

Now use them — out loud

Before we read:
  • What helps someone settle in fastest in your town?
  • Is identity something you choose, or something you are given?
  • Have you ever felt homesick? What cured it?

The story, in three parts

Read each part. After it, answer the quick check from memory, then discuss one question.

Part 1 — The wrong question

For most of the twentieth century, people talked about migration as if it were a dial with two ends. At one end you keep your old culture; at the other you become like everyone else in your new country. Move towards one and you must, by definition, move away from the other.

John Berry, a psychologist who spent his career in Canada, thought this was the wrong picture. Canada in the 1970s was a good place to notice it: a country of many origins, arguing publicly about what newcomers owed to the society they had joined.

Berry's insight was that there is not one question here but two. Do I want to keep my own culture and identity? And, separately, do I want contact with, and a place in, the wider society? A person can answer yes to both. Or no to both. The dial was hiding something.

Quick check — from memory, then reveal:

1. What was the old picture of migration?

2. Why was Canada a good place to notice the problem?

3. What two questions did Berry separate?

1. A dial with two ends: keep your old culture, or become like everyone else.

2. It had people from many origins and was publicly arguing about what newcomers owed society.

3. Do I keep my own culture? Do I want contact and a place in the wider society?

Discuss:
  • Why do you think people find it natural to imagine a single dial?

Part 2 — Four ways to live

Cross the two questions and you get four ways of living between cultures.

Integration: yes and yes. You keep your language, food and festivals, and you also build a life in the wider society — work, neighbours, friends. Across many studies, this group tends to report the best wellbeing.

Assimilation: no and yes. You let the old culture go and join the mainstream fully. Some people choose this; others feel pushed into it.

Separation: yes and no. You keep your culture strongly and have little contact outside it. Sometimes that is a choice, and sometimes it is what prejudice leaves you.

Marginalisation: no and no. Connected to neither — usually not a choice at all, and the hardest place to be.

The crucial point is that these are not four types of person. They are positions people move between, differently at work and at home, differently in the first year and the tenth.

Quick check — from memory, then reveal:

1. What are the four positions?

2. Which one tends to be linked with the best wellbeing?

3. Why is it wrong to call them four types of person?

1. Integration, assimilation, separation, marginalisation.

2. Integration.

3. Because people move between them — and can be in different positions at work and at home, or in different years.

Discuss:
  • Are all four positions equally available to everyone? What decides?

Part 3 — It takes two

The most-quoted part of Berry's work is the four boxes. The part people forget is his condition: integration is only possible if the receiving society allows it. If a country demands that newcomers drop everything, then integration is not on the menu, however much a family wants it.

That is why Berry also studied the attitudes of the people already there — the other half of the equation. Migration is not a test that one side takes alone.

The model has critics. Real lives are messier than four boxes; a teenager may be in three of them before dinner. Some researchers argue the categories are too neat and too Western. But for millions of people the grid does something valuable: it puts a name on a daily experience and says, clearly, that keeping who you are and joining where you live were never opposites.

Quick check — from memory, then reveal:

1. What condition does integration depend on?

2. Why did Berry also study the attitudes of people already in the country?

3. Give one criticism of the model.

1. The receiving society must allow it.

2. Because migration involves both sides — it isn't a test one side takes alone.

3. Any one: real lives are messier than four boxes; the categories may be too neat or too Western.

Discuss:
  • What could a town realistically do to make integration possible?

How the tool works

Two questions, four positions. Across the bottom: do I keep my own culture? Up the side: do I take part in the wider society? Remember that people move between the boxes.

INTEGRATIONbothASSIMILATIONthe new one onlySEPARATIONmy own onlyMARGINALISATIONneitherKeep my own culture?Take part in the wider society?yesnoyesno

Using it, step by step

  1. Ask the two questions separately — about a person, a family, or a policy.
  2. Notice that the answers can differ by place (work, school, home) and by time (year one, year ten).
  3. Ask the second half: what does the receiving society allow, encourage or block?
  4. Use it to design something practical — a class, a club, a workplace rule — that makes “yes and yes” easier.

Try it yourself

Which position does each situation describe? Choose, then check.

1. A man lives in a neighbourhood where everyone shares his background. He watches only channels from home and has never had a conversation with a neighbour from elsewhere.
2. A family speaks their first language at home and celebrates their own festivals — and the parents are in the school association and the local choir.
3. A woman stops speaking her first language to her children, changes her name at work and says she wants nothing to do with “the old country”.
4. A nurse cooks the food she grew up with, prays as her parents did, and spends Saturdays coaching the local under-12s football team.
5. A teenager feels foreign at school and foreign at his grandmother's house. He has drifted away from both and belongs to neither.
6. A company tells new arrivals they may only speak the national language, even in the canteen at lunch.

1. Separation — keeps his own culture; little contact with the wider society.

2. Integration — yes to both questions.

3. Assimilation — lets the old culture go and joins the mainstream.

4. Integration — both cultures, side by side.

5. Marginalisation — no to both — the hardest position.

6. Assimilation — the organisation is demanding one culture only — which is exactly the pressure Berry described.

Where the tool breaks

Four boxes, one life. People move between positions daily, and differently in each part of their life.

It can sound like a choice. Prejudice, money and the law decide a great deal of it.

It was built in one place. Some researchers say the categories fit Western, multicultural countries better than others.

Talk it through:
  • Which position does your country expect from newcomers? Is that stated openly?
  • What would make “yes and yes” easier where you live?

Its cousins

The Johari WindowAnother four-pane grid about being known by others. Open the lesson →
Maslow's Hierarchy of NeedsBelonging, safety and respect — the needs a move abroad shakes. Open the lesson →
The Diffusion of InnovationsHow new habits and ideas spread through a community. Open the lesson →
The Parenting Styles ModelWarmth × control: the same two-question shape, inside a family.

Grammar — relative clauses

Talking about identity means describing people and places precisely: the country where I grew up, a friend whose parents moved twice. Relative clauses do that work.

Defining clauses say which one. No commas.
“The city where I was born is on the coast.”  “People who move young usually adapt faster.”
Use who (people), which (things), that (either), where (places), whose (possession).
Non-defining clauses add extra information, between commas, and never use that.
“My aunt, who arrived in 1998, still cooks the old recipes.”
Leaving out the pronoun: possible in defining clauses when it is the object.
“The language (that) she speaks at home is Tamil.”  But not as subject: ~~The man lives next door is Polish~~.
whose = of whom / of which.
“A student whose parents moved twice.”
Watch out: no double subject — ~~My friend who he came last year~~ → “My friend who came last year”.

1. Complete with the right pronoun

Write who, which, that, where or whose. Sometimes more than one is possible.

1. The village my grandparents grew up no longer exists.

2. A neighbour son plays in my daughter's team taught me the local dialect.

3. The documents you need are on the council website.

4. My colleague, has lived here for thirty years, still calls Lisbon home.

5. This is the café we all meet on Sundays.

1. where

2. whose

3. which / that

4. who (non-defining — never that)

5. where

2. Join the sentences

Make one sentence with a relative clause. Use commas where the information is extra.

1. My cousin arrived last spring. She has already found work. →

2. I still cook a dish. My mother taught it to me. →

3. That is the school. My children learned the language there. →

4. Berry was a Canadian psychologist. His grid describes life between cultures. →

1. My cousin, who arrived last spring, has already found work.

2. I still cook a dish (that) my mother taught me.

3. That is the school where my children learned the language.

4. Berry was a Canadian psychologist whose grid describes life between cultures.

Now describe three people you know with relative clauses: one with who, one with whose, one with where.

Speak

Use the grid on real life — yours, or a community you know. Choose a task, start the timer, and talk.

Useful language: “In my first year I was probably in the … box.” · “At work I …, but at home I …” · “The place where I feel most myself is …” · “People whose families moved …”
Time remaining: 4:00
Task 1 — Your own map

Think of a time you were the newcomer — a country, a city, a school, a job. Where were you on the grid, and did it change?

Task 2 — Two places at once

Describe someone you know who lives between two cultures. What do they keep, and what have they taken on?

Task 3 — The other half

What does your town do well, and badly, for people who arrive? Name one thing you would change.

To finish — the harder questions

  1. Berry says integration needs permission from the receiving society. What should a country reasonably ask of newcomers, and what should it never ask?
  2. Is it possible to belong fully to two cultures, or is something always lost?
  3. Children usually adapt faster than their parents. What does that do to a family?
  4. From memory: describe the four positions in four sentences, each using a relative clause.